Are Your Insecurities Holding You Back?

Don't let your insecurities hold you back.

Confidence and Insecurity might as well be the “good angel” and “bad angel” sitting atop our shoulders governing every decision. In many of us there is a constant battle within to achieve our full potential and do great things with confidence which is somehow crippled by insecurities and self-doubt.

We end up letting the “bad angel” belittle us into believing the terrible lies and then feel even worse for doing nothing about it. Insecurities can be quite a beast to overcome. The first step is learning to recognize the beast. Then avoid falling victim to the exaggerated narratives seeping into your mind.

Sounds easy enough, right? It’s not. We are conditioned throughout life to believe these insecurities are as true as the sky is blue. From cultural conditioning to what we believe as other people’s opinions, we allow the insecurities to grow into an unruly, unrelenting monster.

Signs Insecurities Are Holding You Back

” Self-deprecating talk.
” Lack of confidence when making decisions.
” Focusing on the negative in situations.
” Overly critical of self.
” Expecting rejection.
” Problems standing up for yourself.
” Difficulty accepting compliments.
” Avoid taking risks.
” Care too much about what other people think.

If any of these signs sound familiar, it’s time to take back control of your life and stop allowing insecurities to hold you back. Think of all the missed opportunities and the accomplishments just waiting for your confidence to outweigh insecurity.

Overcome Insecurity

By practicing these few steps you’ll find yourself stronger, more confident and able to hit the mute button on the “bad angel”. The negative inner-dialogue pulling you into the rabbit hole despair won’t be nearly as powerful as you make greater and greater strides in the direction of self-assurance and self-worth.

The most important part is to remember that this process is about you, not the bystanders in your life. You are the only one with the power to create the life you want and deserve.

Identify: Because insecurity is habitual, sometimes it’s hard to identify. Think of the signs listed above as triggers. They start the whole process of doubt and despair. You have to identify the instances before you can take further action.

Objectify: Once you identify a moment when you’re feeling insecure and like you want to retreat into your shell, now is the time to stop the train and objectify the situation. Look at this from an outward and unemotional standpoint. A common mistake here is to think of what others may think instead of being truly objective.

Strengthen: Now you’ll want to build up your confidence by looking at past successes and reflecting on how you felt during that time. When you recall those emotions, you’re likely to move forward with achieving that same level of self-satisfaction and accomplishment.

Reassess: So, your confidence is boosted a bit and you’re ready to take this thing on, head first. Time to reassess the previous doubts and insecurities by asking yourself some questions.

¢ What’s the worst that could possibly happen?
¢ And if the worst thing does happen, who will that affect?
¢ How will I act if the worse thing that could happen actually happens?
¢ Will I have any regrets if I let my insecurities hold me back?

Oftentimes we allow our insecurities to have so much control, they trick us into believing things will turn out one way or another when in fact that’s probably the least likely thing to happen.

Reframe the insecurity by acknowledging the worst-case scenario and apply your new confidence in knowing it will probably never happen, but if it does, you’re ready to handle it.

Follow Through: And finally, you’re going to use positive self-talk and commit to making this insecurity disappear by following through with your plan. Steer clear of any negativity and keep pushing forward.

Don’t allow yourself to hide in the turtle shell. And even if it doesn’t turn out the way you dreamed, you got out there and showed insecurity who is boss! That’s a huge step!

You’ll find that each time you follow the steps above, your insecurities diminish and a newer, stronger, more self-assured version of you emerges. Insecurities don’t have to hold you back and you are the only one with the power to make it stop.

It gets easier over time as your confidence is slowly being restored, mostly because things usually never turn out as bad as we imagine they could.

Stop Blaming Yourself For Past Mistakes

Stop Blaming Yourself for Past Mistakes

At times we can be so critical of ourselves and the things we’ve done in the past. The feeling of failure is like a heavy, smothering blanket of sorrow and regret. And instead of just “letting it go”, like so many people passively suggest, to get through it, feels like an impossible feat.

We wallow in yesterday’s mistakes and wonder how it’s so easy for others to just move on like nothing ever happened.

First of all, it’s not easy. Not for all of us. Some of us feel things on a different level and allow these emotions to control the days to come. Until we say enough is enough and learn how to effectively get from defeat to perseverance.

Below are a few helpful strategies to do just that!

You Are Not Your Mistakes

A single mistake, or even a series of mistakes, absolutely does not define who you are on the inside. The truth is, you are a collection of everything good and bad that has happened in your life, whether you had a hand in it or not.

The person you are right now has been conditioned by cultural surroundings, how you raised and the events that have transpired from birth to this very moment in time. Your mistakes in the past do not own you and do not deserve the power to control you.

So far, you’re batting a thousand. You’ve survived every single day of your life to this point. Mistakes do not define you. How you handle mistakes plays a bigger part than the mistake itself.

The Learning Curve of Life

We are but a work in progress. Today isn’t the end, and tomorrow probably won’t be either. The best thing we can do for ourselves and our mental health is to celebrate the wins and make room for the losses.

Treat life as a learning curve and give yourself a break. If perfection was even possible, how would one even achieve it without experience? There has to be downs to appreciate the ups, right?

Own It

We can’t just bury our heads in the sand and pretend a mistake didn’t happen. That’s not beneficial for anyone involved in the situation. And as hard as it may be, it’s better to own the mistake and use it as a tool rather than dwell on it or attempt to cover it up.

At work, go ahead and tell the boss man about the error and even ask for input on how to avoid this situation in the future. If there’s damage control to be done, take care of it and face the music. You’ll retain the respect of your boss and likely be admired by coworkers.

The same rule applies to intimate, family and parenting relationships. Accept responsibility and try to move forward as graciously as possible. Thankfully, the people closest to us don’t usually expect perfection and would gladly take sincerity and honesty over deception any day of the week.

Give Yourself the Gift of Forgiveness

To be human is to err. And you’ve undoubtedly been in a situation where someone asked for your forgiveness. Do yourself the biggest favor of all and forgive yourself. Sometimes we fall into the trap of holding ourselves to a higher standard than those around us, and that’s not fair.

It’s perfectly normal to strive for excellence, but perfection is a terrible misconception. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Learn from the experience and keep pushing to avoid making that same mistake again. Be your biggest ally, not your worst enemy.

Be Better Than Yesterday

Never stop investing in yourself. Sometimes we end up in a stagnant state or a standoff with ourselves. After a mistake we have an inner war going on with the person we despise and the person we want to be, the person we know we can be.

Don’t allow this negative thought process to put you in a stale-mate. Find ways to get better. To do better. Never stop learning and striving to attain your goals. Mistakes are going to happen. Failures are inevitable. But perseverance and positivity are much more powerful tools than tucking your tail and running for the hills.

Everybody makes mistakes. It’s part of life. When we learn to pick up the pieces and make something meaningful, something we are proud of, is when we have reached the ultimate level of personal development.

A level that cannot easily be shaken. A level that reframes what once was deemed a critical mistake into a minor setback. It’s all up to you. You and only you determine how much power you allow the past to have in your life and in your future!